Jeremy Roadruck: Parenting Techniques That Matter with The Parenting Program

Does your child need a confidence boost?

Jeremy Roadruck is the founder and CEO of The Parenting Program.

Jeremy is a speaker, teacher, and author on a mission to help children learn to embrace their true selves. He works with families to empower children to speak up and own their voices.

He has a deep passion for helping parents and children and uses his empowerment program to help them the best way he can.

Jeremy’s program is all about helping kids feel seen, heard, felt and understood.

Learn more about how  The Parenting Program can help children be heard by listening to this episode of The Thoughtful Entrepreneur above and don’t forget to subscribe on  Apple Podcasts – Stitcher – Spotify –Google Play –Castbox – TuneIn – RSS.

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0:00
Welcome to the thoughtful entrepreneur Show. I'm Josh Elledge, founder and CEO of up my influence.com. We turn entrepreneurs into media celebrities, grow their authority, and help them build partnerships with top influencers. We believe that every person has a unique message that can positively impact the world. stick around to the end of the show, where I'll reveal how you can be our next guest on one of the fastest growing daily inspiration podcasts on the planet in 15 to 20 minutes. Let's go. All right with us right now. We've got Jeremy Roadruck. Jeremy, you are the founder and CEO of The Parenting Program. You are a multiple time best selling author and you're the host of the new podcast, the parenting program show. Thank you so much for joining us.

0:49
Yeah, absolutely. Josh, it is great to be here.

0:51
Oh, one thing I didn't mention as well is you own a very successful martial arts studio.

0:58
Yes, sir. So let's Start with that.

1:00
When did you launch that? And how did you succeed at that when I've seen martial arts studios come and go, some of them succeed? Some of them don't, some of them get kind of a reputation for being like a MC dojo kind of thing. And I know that you've taken an approach that's actually been very very successful. What do you do

1:18
so well first thing is you know, I succeeded kind of in spite of myself I took some of the the best advice from the industry and you know, took some other great marketers then try to be all these different things wasted a bunch of money on like radio in my local market for one location business. Not a great idea because big huge market but not everyone's going to drive all over the place. So really understanding as a martial arts school, my my immediate space is about the two to three miles around my school. Even that is influenced by psycho graphics and demographics, the right mindset, the right income, and the right personality. You know, I am all kinds of nerd and geek, so getting somebody in there who wants a hardcore fighter blood on the floor. spitting, swearing grabbing themselves, not my cup of tea, and no, no shame on that. And that's not a bad market per se, just not one that I personally resonate with. And so it was finding you who's the audience, I really want to talk to, what are the problems I really want to solve and what fits my personality and my lifestyle, so that we're on the same page and they come in, they feel understood, they feel seen and heard. And I'm able to give them an experience that's going to be congruent with where they are, where they want to go, and then start to like, shut down some of the fears and anxieties they have for their kids, even if they don't know how to voice it. Because for me, families and kids is where I love to serve. That's why that's why I'm created the parenting program is just seeing all the difficulty.

2:42
So, to Jeremy, I mean, it's, you have a great product, but we all know as business owners, having a great product isn't enough. So you need obviously you need visibility, you know, create awareness, you know, and then somehow, you know, people just need to get into a final of some sorts, and so on. What does that part look like for your studio?

3:03
Well, the first thing is strategic relationships and strategic partnerships in the community. So, you know, parent teacher organizations, youth sports and do away You want a martial arts school and you want to support youth sports? Yes. Because the brothers and sisters maybe Mike students, not the not the primary, you know, maybe a younger brother or sister, but knowing how to partner with them support the teams in the offseasons, how can we how can we be a part of the community versus standing opposed to it? So engaging with the community is super important being in the places where families go, that's really important knowing where my audiences and being in those places be seen? And then number three is, we make it easy to get in, there's low barriers. Now, some people in the martial arts they'll say, Oh, you should charge for an intro and pre qualify. I give away two free weeks. It's just a way to meet and greet people and

3:48
where are you at? Let's talk more about that aspect of it. It sounds like you give away a lot of value are you find ways to serve people that aren't necessarily paying you first. And I mean, I've got my own experience with that. And I can tell you that, that not only does that work, it's what consumers expect today, but can talk a little bit more about being not afraid to give away value initially. Right, right about the value of giving away, but I'll ask it in a way, not the double double negative sense. But there was just another double negative. You know, why giveaway value for free initially,

4:34
because I want to make an impact and I want to get results for someone. My fundamental, the fundamental of actually our entire conference system is to alleviate suffering. When people are confident when they own their emotional space, when they can speak up for themselves, they can assert themselves, life is better. And our youth today are not getting this message. Our parents are not getting this message. It's sit down, shut up, don't be heard. Don't stand out the exact opposite of what needs to happen to be successful. basically anywhere else in life, you got to be noticed, right? Everyone's like, Oh, my competition is blah, blah, blah. It's like, No, Your problem is apathy. And no one knows who you are. Attention. That's what matters. First lovers, haters, that's secondary. Right? My dad works with a group called youth and family and initiative, and they help they help get resources for people that are having challenges. And he's, he's been working for a long time. And the board of directors recently was like, Well, you know, people have a negative opinion of us. They don't understand what we really do. By that was like, great. And they're like, no, and he's like, yes, they know we exist. That's the first step. Then we can work on the image. We can educate them, we can have a conversation, you may have heard of us, and

5:40
you know that we can have a conversation. I liked it. You make it really easy for people to initiate a relationship with you. And I like that you're so committed to being seen among your target audience and it sounds like you work really hard at that and And I would imagine that you didn't stop. So like now that you've got a bunch of students, you're like, Okay, well done with that.

6:07
Right? Well, I know it's ongoing, because even once you get them in, we have an ascension ladder inside the school. So we have what we identify is, you know, who are the clients, and those are people that come in with a pay to play type of mindset. You know, I don't want them for very long, because I'm not that type of person. I want to I want to give value. I don't want to have to be a salesman and try to be all tricky and gimmicky. I want to have a genuine relationship. Here's the size, the problem we're going to solve. You stick with us through this period of time. I have students that have gotten seven figures for college or six figures for college. Sorry, 150 $200,000 to go to college. How cool is that? But well, they showed up at 12. They stayed through high school, they did these things. And if you're willing to do that, I can't guarantee it, but we're going to get really freaking close. And so so going through that Ascension ladder first we start with who's our clients. The next level up is who's our members and they have loyalty to each other. They loyalty to the school, they want to be there, it starts to become a part of their social life. But then we have the students and those are the people who really want to get this for themselves, they want to propagate it to the next generation, they want to go to that deeper level. And even if they're not going to become a professional martial arts instructor, they now have the ability to understand this information and they can impact the lives of the people around them. And that's who I get really excited to work with is is my wife is very good at working and developing that membership community since I love to work with the students who really want to get to that deeper insight of how this one thing connects higher to other things but also deeper to what's underneath the surface that a lot of people miss. And that's where I geek out so not shy away from it not you know keep it behind closed doors all hush hush it's no this is open Come on in. Of course there's fees to get to that level. There's an investment of course, if you don't pay you don't pay attention. hate to say, right. And and for a lot of people free is worthless. They go this is great and they consume it then they don't do anything with it. And right

7:59
right. So I think it's a great first date, right? And so just like, hey, let's get to know one another, see if there's a fit here. If there's not, that's totally fine. Maybe there may be in the future, or maybe you know, somebody that you know, this would be a great know. Yeah, I mean, at some point, you have to say, Well, listen, like, we've figured out how we could help one another. You know, I can give you the confidence and skills and everything else that you're looking for. And in exchange, you can pay me money, which, which that's, you know, one of the main reasons one of the reasons I'm in business is is to make sure that I can keep doing this business. And so, so, Jeremy, you've done a lot of work with kids and you started the parenting program, what are your ambitions with this effort? And I know you've got you do a lot of speaking and coaching and you're offering something valuable to the marketplace and kind of explain what that is.

8:59
Well, so the idea really, for me, it's about changing the world, one family at a time. Because if we can help our kids to do two things, right, number one is they can create their own emotional safety. And then number two is they have the confidence to speak up and own their voice. Literally everything changes, because we don't have the fear of rejection, abandonment, the emotional safety, I create that for myself, I don't like this job, I'm going to get a new one, I'm going to leave, I have the confidence. I know I can do it. And if I don't have the knowledge, I can find the right people to partner with to get the knowledge to go get the thing. It's that emotional safety. And so I love what our schools are teaching our students a lot of great information, but they do keep our students that by and large at effect, it's you are at the result of something else versus you know, it's like anti bullying versus becoming bully proof. If I'm bully proof, I don't care what you say your opinion means nothing to me. Yeah. And so how do we get that into our families and our kids because so many people are lurching at windmills and they're overreacting to stuff doesn't matter. This person's opinion is not going to affect you over the course of your life unless you let it affect you. Right. I've had students I've had come through family who've had children that are that are borderline suicidal because of the opinions of other people. And it's really simply the way those other people, are they happy in their lives. A lot of friends really engaged. Oh, no. So they're not happy with them. Why do you care how they feel about you? Because they can't give what they don't have. Yeah, and just that refrain your kids go, Oh, yeah, I am giving them all this power. That's silly.

10:30
Alright, cool. Good. Jeremy, what do you know, for anyone who's listening? That's a parent, which and I think anybody really? What should we know about the environment that kids live in today? And how has that impacted the evolution of parenting?

10:49
The biggest challenge that our kids are facing with is where do they put their trust? Because they've got all this stuff on social media, all these different opinions, all these different ways. Your These different business experts will tell you you should do this. No, don't do that do this. And and they're living in this place where access to information is amazing. But how much is their real wisdom, and we qualify in our cocoa family and in the parenting program. Wisdom is when you apply your knowledge guided by compassion, you've got to leave room for yourself to exist and leave room for other people to exist. That's that compassion part. But then you've got to apply your knowledge. And sometimes you have to cut people out of your life because they're not healthy. And for kids, they've been raised. No, you have to be nice. You have to be friends. You have to be friendly. Doesn't mean be friends, right? How you if you're friendly, that's a standard of behavior. If your friends that's a little different relationship, and so you can be friendly doesn't mean you invite everybody to your house for cookies, and making that Okay, now I don't have to have all the likes. I don't have to have all the friends. I can be selective. You have two friends, but they go really really deep. That's awesome. You have 87 friends, get 1000 friends, that's cool, two different experiences, not which one's the Right experience, and we have so many kids that are hurting for that certainty and that significance, they're like, like how to get big numbers, and I got it. They're tilting it everywhere. And so helping them know where to stand. And that's where the parents being clear on their own values and saying, These are the one or two things that if if I know my kids 18 they can do this and this, I did my job as a parent, versus Well, you know, I they went horseback riding and they went to Disney and they went to, you know, they went to another country, and by the time they're 18, they've already done everything you could possibly ever do in your life. Then what's the point of living past 18?

12:34
Jeremy, for the person who's listening, that is a parent. Give them a homework assignment, give them something really, really tactical that they could do that you have a pretty good idea, just given what kids experience is today. That would be a really great thing for all parents do. They may not be doing

12:58
Listen, the next Next time your kid gets really, really upset about something, and then get very curious and start to notice, what exactly are they saying? Write it down. Where are they fixating? Write it down. not argue with them. Not try to change it. Just sit with it and go, Wow, that's really interesting. Why do you feel that way? What set that off? What led to that and just get curious and play detective and write it down. And then once they've kind of spread it out the emotional intensity, reread it, reread it together, but look for what's the commonalities. What's the patterns? What's the trend lines? What are we noticing happening consistently, because for a lot of kids, they don't feel heard. And they're caught up in this turn of emotion. So you have this written down. You can now look at it more objectively get it multicolored pen, write it down in one color, go back in a second color and go Okay, now that we've had some time to think about it, let's look at this again. Because it begins to externalize that conversation. And you begin to start noticing language patterns. I can't They won't let me they, why do you feel that way? Why do you feel they have to? Why should they who gives them the power, and as a parent that becomes a very powerful teaching tool. And then the next time you and your partner get in an argument, right down with each other saying,

14:15
it's hard,

14:16
it's very hard. But if you can weather that storm and genuinely listen to each other to understand and write it down, you can have an amazing conversation afterwards, come to clarity with each other, and change your relationship, because now you can start to develop what we call family guidelines. Family rules, like no, no leaving Disney at five in the morning. That's a family rule, because they nobody want to get up at 3am to make the bus.

14:39
Yeah. I think maybe old school parenting was much more authoritative. Yes. And what you're prescribing is I want to egalitarianism but I mean, it's, it's certainly one that we could actually show respect to our children. I think without necessarily giving up our roles, listen, I'm still your parent. It's my job to guide you here. But I think that I think what I hear you saying is, you know, rather than just making a snap reaction all I know, like, I just heard this one is that, you know, if the kids are arguing over something, my problem as the dad not driving is, there's chaos in the backseat. I don't care what it's about the immediate problem, I need to stop. Is that conflict, right? And I don't even care what the details are. But in that case, would that be something where what would you recommend other than catch shot off?

15:46
You can do that. That's what we call a pattern interrupt, right? Because you have the kids run a pattern of behavior and you're gonna say, hey, you just you interrupt that guys are all gonna die. Right? And it's just, it's just like shooting water to cat you just enter The pattern Yeah, once you catch their attention, where do you take them next? Hey guys, what's going on? That's all it's not why. Why are you ever whenever you ask why you will move story? Yes. When I was three they liked the read off my candy. What you're 15 you're 45 one Yeah. Right? You don't ask why, Hey, what's going on? What are you fighting about? What are you disagreeing about? What are you in conflict over? Because those three different questions I'll get three different types of answers. So what you pitch you got to be very careful, what's the answer you're looking for. But you start to notice and we just establish again, those family rules. We put patterns in place I can say certain things they know that if they don't reorganize themselves at five and 10, there will be consequences and it will not be fun. You know,

16:45
your choice

16:46
because again, you're right. I'm the dad. My job there's a fundamental line that we will not cross but at the same time I'm modeling for them behavior that they can then ladder is really cool. And when I have my daughter come up and mom right or upset and the first thing she says Then for Mommy, Daddy, take a deep breath is she's starting to do an intervention and she's getting us back into our digestion system, our breathing system and just slowing down instead of fight or flight instead of being parasympathetic, sympathetic nervous system, calm down, breathe, relax, you know, so at four, she's calling us down. It's like, shut up, get away. She's right. I love you. You're awesome. High five. Okay, now let's talk. And so that's that's that's how you were up that so pattern interrupt, change the breathing and then what is going on? And then we can negotiate that conversation or we can ladder that I give them the I help them negotiate with each other?

17:36
Yeah, yeah. Well, Jeremy, what's a great way for people to obviously they can look right now in their podcast player and they can find the parenting program show, again with Jeremy Roadruck, and they can start listening there. What's another great way for people to get to know you?

17:54
I'm actually over on Facebook. I have a bunch of lives and I have a bunch of you know, I'm constantly putting stuff out. I have all kinds of great stuff there. And then I actually have a family masterclass that I put together for helping parents and kids start to communicate better. Yeah. finally getting your kid to listen without yelling, threatening bribery or losing control. So those are the two best places to go get me.

18:17
Yeah. Awesome. All right. Well, Jeremy road rukh you are on what's what's the name of your martial arts studio? Is means martial arts of Centerville. Okay, in Centerville, which which, Ohio Okay, yep, we're sorry, suburb of Dayton. Oh, terrific. Terrific. And of course, you're the founder and CEO of the parenting program, and, of course, the host of the parenting program show. So Jeremy, thank you so much for joining us.

18:44
Thank you, Josh. It's been a great conversation.

18:47
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